Before you were conceived, I wanted you
Before you were born, I loved you
And before you were here an hour
I would have sacrificed everything for you"
Today is my first day writing this blog. I don't know why but I woke up today and thought I needed to write something. I have always loved writing , it makes you feel better. And who knows, I am sure I am not the only one going through infertility so perhaps it will help someone else too.
Infertility, hmmm... I am not sure I like this word. I find it scary . It is filled with sadness and emotions.
I have chosen to go for something more positive , something more constructive to start this blog. I have chosen the quote above because I believe it will happen one day. For some, it just takes a long time and a lot of effort..but IT WILL HAPPEN.
My journey started four years ago. Like many couples, I got married and thought pregnancy was the next step. I have always wanted children. I have never even questioned this once. A life without them, no chance. But hey, at the time, you think that you will get pregnant straight away. I always remember when I was a teenager . I was warned " if you have unprotected sex, that's IT...the chances are YOU WILL GET PREGNANT"..oh my god, that was such a scary thought at 18! Can you imagine, still a student and pregnant... not good.. You grow up with this idea that you can get pregnant at the blink of an eye..
"YEAH RIGHT" , now I wish..Mind you , some women do..I wonder what their secret is.
So anyway, got married, tried for a baby...got pregnant a couple of months afterwards and miscarried at 6 weeks. Since then, nothing...a desert...nothing nothing nothing..WHY!? I am not sure why..I ask myself this question every single day. WHY ME? What have I done to deserve this? But then I pull myself back together and I hope..I tell myself that my turn will come one day and I too will be a mum soon.
You might think writing a blog on infertility is obsession..I would tell you it is perseverance, focus to achieve success. It helps me. It is catharsis, a release of all my emotions, good and bad.
I hope that one day I will be able to look into this journey as a positive experience, something that made me a stronger person.
I doesn't mean that I still think
"INFERTILITY HURTS!!!! "
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